BANNER CREDITS: RITUPARNA CHATTERJEE
A woman with the potential to make it big. It is not that she cannot: she simply will not.
PHOTO CREDITS: ANIESHA BRAHMA
The closest anyone has come to being an adopted daughter.
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

আমার নাম এন্টনি (অ্যান্টনি বা অ্যান্থনি নয় কিন্তু)

"কালজয়ী বাংলা গান " কথাটা আমরা আজকাল কারণে-অকারণে দুমদাম ব্যবহার করে বসি। এটা অনুচিত। "আমার নাম এন্টনি" জাতীয় কিছু গান বাদ দিলে কথাটা নেহাৎই অত্যুক্তির পর্যায়ে চলে যায়।

"আমার নাম এন্টনি" কেন কালজয়ী সে প্রসঙ্গে আসি এবার। প্রথমেই বলি, আমি "এন্টনি" উচ্চারণটা আর কখনও শুনিনি। উচ্চারণের দোষ নয়, কারণ কিশোরকুমার "অমর আকবর অ্যান্থনি"র গানে দিব্যি "অ্যা" বলেছেন।

হয়ত অ্যান্টনি বা অ্যান্থনিকে বাংলায় এন্টনি বলে। কে জানে? আমার এটা শুনলেই এন্টালির কথা মনে পড়ত।

যাইহোক, আরেকটু এগোই।

*

"কাজের কিছু শিখিনি
লার্নিং কিংবা পেইন্টিং অর সিংগিং।"

এটা একটা রীতিমত গুরুত্বপূর্ণ অংশ। আমি যতবার ছোটবেলায় গানটা শুনতাম, ভাবতাম ওটা নির্ঘাত আর্নিং। লার্নিং মানে তো শেখা। শেখা আবার শেখা যায় নাকি?

কিন্তু এখানেই রহস্যের শেষ নয়। আরেকটু এগোলে আছে "শিখিনি তো লার্নিং ফর আর্নিং"। এটা শুনে খানিকটা তাও বুঝেছিলাম। লার্নিং দু'রকমের হয়, ফর আর্নিং আর ফর আদার পার্পাজেস। এন্টনি কোনওটাই শেখেনি (শুরুতেই বলেছে এটা)। তারপর কেন "ফর আর্নিং" বলেছে সেটা অবিশ্যি বুঝিনি।

"সিংগিং" না শিখেও গান গাইতে পারাটায় অবাক হয়নি। কিশোরকুমার নিজেই তাই করতেন।

*

"আমি ভবঘুরে সমাজের MLA (হুঁ বাবা, MLA)
উধাও হয়ে যাই কিছু না বলে
আমি বাঁধা ছকেতে কখনও
চলিনি তো কোনওদিন"

ভবঘুরে সমাজের এমেলে হয় আমার ধারণা ছিল না। ওরা তো ভবঘুরে, ঠিকানা নেই, ওদের ভোটারস আইডি হবে কীভাবে, এই জাতীয় চিন্তা আমাকে কুরে কুরে খেত। তবে এন্টনির যা সিভি পরের তিনটে লাইনে বলেছে তাতে ওর ভোট পেতে বিশেষ আপত্তি হবে বলে মনে হয় না।

*

"যত হাসি খুশি ছেলেখেলা পেয়েছি
আমার দু”পকেটে ভরে নিয়েছি
হুঁ হুঁ, পকেটে ভরে নিয়েছি!"

এইখানটা একটা অস্বস্তি হত, কিন্তু কেন সেটা বুঝিনি। এর পরের অংশটা বরং বেশি গুরুত্বপূর্ণ।

"ডলার টাকা পাউন্ড আমি চাইনা
চাইনা তো ইস্টার্লিং"

ছন্দ মেলানোর জন্য নাহয় "স্টার্লিং"এর আগে "ই" জুড়ে "ইস্টার্লিং" করেছে। কিন্তু পাউন্ড চাই না আর স্টার্লিং চাই না দু'টোর কথা আলাদাভাবে বলার কী দরকার ছিল?

পাউন্ডের বদলে মার্কজাতীয় কিছু বললেও দিব্যি ছন্দ থাকত। তাহলে কি ইস্টার্লিং মানে আলাদা কিছু? ঈস্টার সংক্রান্ত কিছু?

কে দেবে এইসব প্ৰশ্নের উত্তর?

Saturday, January 4, 2020

The only systematically, magically, metaphysically, spiritually, anthropomorphically, ecologically, biochemically, ethically, pedagogically, morally, logically, empathetically, harmonically acceptable way of listening to so gaya ye jahaan

I will not sugarcoat this: so gaya ye jahaan does not get the respect it so richly deserves.

A handbook is long overdue, so I took upon myself to compile one.

Always remember that the "in private" way is always the best one. If you implement the "in public" section in private, you are at best doing the second-best job.

A video of the song is provided after the table, though I believe you know it by heart anyway.

Song
Acceptable response
(in public)
Acceptable response
(in private)
Prelude
Nod
Nod
Mm-hmm-hmm
(four times)
Nod
Mm-hmm-hmm
(four times)
Snapping of fingers
(after third and fourth
mm-hmm-hmm)
Nod
(at different rhythm)
Snap fingers
So gaya, ye jahaan
So gaya, aasmaan
So gaya, ye jahaan
So gaya, aasmaan
Nod
Sing along
So gayiiiii, hai saari manzilein
O saari manzilein
So gaya hai rasta
Nod
Sing along
(get emotional at
“o saari manzilein”)
Dhik tik (instrumental)
Nod twice
Nod twice
So gaya, ye jahaan
So gayaaa, aasmaan
So gayiiii, hai saari manzilein
O saari manzilein
So gaya hai rasta
Nod
Sing along
Dhik tik (instrumental)
Nod twice
Nod twice
So gaya, ye jahaan
So gayaaa, aasmaan
Nod
Sing along
Whistle four tunes
(twice each)
Nod
Try to whistle accordingly
Fail spectacularly
Interlude
Nod
Nod vigorously
Raat aayi to woh jinke
ghar ko gaye so gaye
Nod, preferably with eyes closed
Sing along
Music
Nod
Say ta-ra-ra-ra-ra
Raat aayi to hum jaise
Awara phir nikle
Raahon mein
Aur kho gaye
Nod, preferably with eyes closed
Sing along
(stretch the “aur”)
Music
Nod
Say ta-ra-ra-ra-ra
Is gully, us gully
Is nagar, us nagar
Jaayen bhi to kahaan
Jaana chahen agar
Nod
Sing along
Hooo
So gayiiii, hai saari manzilein
O saari manzilein
So gaya hai rasta
Nod
Sing along
(get emotional at
“o saari manzilein”)
Dhik tik (instrumental)
Nod twice
Nod twice
So gaya, ye jahaan
So gayaaa, aasmaan
So gaya, ye jahaan
So gayaaa, aasmaan
Nod
Nod
Interlude
Nod
Nod
Change of interlude
Roll eyes
Roll eyes
Second antara
Lose focus
Fast forward if needed
Keep watching if YouTube
Because Madhuri
Lose focus
Fast forward if needed
Keep watching if YouTube
Because Madhuri
Antara approaching end
(andhere mein hai)
Regain focus
Regain focus
Hooooo
So gayiii, hai saari manzilein
O saari manzilein
So gaya hai rasta
Nod
Sing along
(get emotional at
“o saari manzilein”)
Dhik tik (instrumental)
Nod twice
Nod twice
So gaya, ye jahaan
So gaya, aasmaan
So gaya, ye jahaan
So gaya, aasmaaaaaan
Nod
Feel sad because
End is nigh
Nod
Feel sad because
End is nigh
Mm-hmm-hmm
(four times)
Nod
Mm-hmm-hmm
(four times)
Snapping of fingers
(after third and fourth
mm-hmm-hmm)
Nod
(at different rhythm)
Snap fingers
Replay
Repeat
Repeat

You may listen now.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Karan Arjun - a musical saga

The idea for this post came to my mind the moment I saw the name of the first responder to my previous post. I am not a Shah Rukh fan - I never was. However, he has possibly been a part of the maximum number of I-love-but-almost-no-one-I-know-does movies: Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, Oh Darling! Ye Hai India, DuplicatePhir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani, Badshah, Chak De! India, Om Shanti Om and, above all, Karan Arjun.

It's debatable whether the movie holds a bigger place in the history of Bollywood or in my life: this was the only movie that I watched during the three-month vacation (they called it study-leave) before my +2. Mind you, this was the balcony at Priya, valued at Rs 12/-, and I had to pay Rs 20/- to buy it from the black-marketers (his initial value was Rs 30/-, which meant a profit of 150%).

The next three hours remain among the most unforgettable of my life: I can easily bask in a gooey puddle of nostalgia by reliving them, but then, I seem to have picked up a highly contagious variant of acartohygieiophobia of late.

They remain the best-spent twenty rupees of my life. Well, almost, now that I remember my first pack of... well, forget it. Let's not deviate.

Of course Karan Arjun is a pathbreaker. It's a masterpiece. It's a miracle. It's not only the best Salman Khan movie that has ever existed, but it's also the best Mamta Kulkarni movie by a gargantuan margin (I mean, it's better than works of genius like Bhookamp, Aashik Aawara, Waqt Humara Hai and Beqabu, not just individually, but all four of them put together).

It had Amrish Puri. It had Kunti Raakhee as the mother. It had mere Karan Arjun ayenge. It had the inimitable Ranjeet. It had Kajol at her fleshiest best. And above all, it had two reincarnations of the same sex.

My words, alas, aren't worthy to write a full review of the movie. I shall have to restrict my creative desires to a review of the musical album. If, some day, I turn out to be the blogger I aspire to become, I promise to write a full review on one of the greatest movies anyone has ever dared to make.

Let's get started, then:

Sooraj kab door gagan se (video here):
Move aside, Yaadon ki Baarat: you never had Kumar Sanu, Udit Narayan and Alka Yagnik teeing off with ho-o-o-o-o (well, I suppose the 26-letter alphabet isn't good enough to depict Sanu's nasal genius).

What does one start with? The simple brilliance of the lyricist? He needs to elaborate the significance of pyar ka bandhan. How does he do it? With examples, of course. He uses four sets: sooraj-gagan, chanda-kiran, khushboo-pawan and bahaar-chaman. Immediately the audience slips into ease: not only has the poet been elegant enough to use four amazingly rhyming words, but the visual impact of the brothers being in love with each other is also incredibly prominent. It's a wonder that they didn't kiss each other in the process (reincarnation of a gay incest relationship would be too much to handle for an audience of any kind):
And then, the lyricist drops in the first hint: janmon ka, ye sangam hai. Oh, have you seen a hint more conspicuous? When the brothers are reborn, the audience gasped: so this is what he meant by janmon ka? Wow. That subtle.

And when Salman lips Mamta ke mandir ki hai tu sabse pyari moorat, the intelligent viewer smiles in acknowledgement: of course - a direct reference to the fact that he'd need to convince his mother about Mamta Kulkarni - the girl he'd bring home as her bahu.

And you think it stops there? It would be wrong if I had missed out on Rakesh Roshan's mission to use the movie as a literacy campaign:
Did I mention that the line says "janmon ki deewaaron par hum pyar apna likh jayen?" Janmon ki - isn't that subtle? Wow.
There are also direct references to The Great Epic: as they stand in front of The Sun, taking turns to sing the lines one by one, it's Arjun who eclipses The Sun, not Karan: of course, sons do not deliberately put their fathers into background. And remember how Arjun used the eclipse to his advantage to behead Jayadrath?
The song review, of course, would not be complete if I do not mention the tribute paid to two classics:
Mother India
Deewaar
And a Hollywood one (who cares if released three years after our movie?):
The Mask of Zorro
Magic. There's no other word for it.

Jaati hoon main (video here):
Yet another work of genius, as expected. The song starts off with Shah Rukh and Kajol getting, a tad, er, unstable, inside a, well, stable. Shah Rukh's virtually owns a farm here, and is yet depicted as poor: this is a superb take on world economy - on the fact that the people we usually consider rich are not, well, rich by global standards.

Since he stays in a farm, it's expected of Shah Rukh to often pose as if he's riding a horse. Enlightened people call this innertia of motion.
Don't laugh, Kajol: read your mechanics books again
Next we get to the classiest lines of the song: jaadu tere jism ka, teri or khniche mujhe.
The entire jism?
Of course not.
Which part, then?
Can't you see where Kajol is?
Come on, it can't be that direct.
Can't you see a windmill in the background?
So?
Which country do windmills typically represent?
Netherlands.
Yes. So which part of the jism now?
(Just an afterthought: you can find an alternative meaning of jism here.)
So you think Papa Roshan is all about subtle physical hints? No, my friend. He does not approve of free sex among the youth. See the message, in uppercase, and in big red fonts, that he sends out to the younger generation:
And then, in the second antara, we get to know about the tragedy: Shah Rukh is colour-blind. The frustration seeps out in Sanu's voice as he utters leke tere lab ki laali, jeevan ko rangeen karenge...

Whose lips do you think he mentions here? Kajol's? Think again: this is exactly when he utters those lines:
And all along I was wondering what that poster was doing inside a farm. Stupid me. How could I have ever thought that there exists a prop without a purpose?

Ik munda meri umar ka (video here)
Initially this seemed to be a very straightforward song of seduction. Rakesh Roshan was possibly speaking on behalf of all Indian apparel manufacturers: even if the girl concerned is Mamta Kulkarni, even if the voice is that of a 65-year old Lata Mangeshkar, the tune is incredibly monotonous and the lyrics are the flattest ever, you just need to shift to Indian outfits to woo an apparently disinterested man. If that's not patriotism for you, what is?

That's not all, though. For aspiring biology students, Rakesh Roshan has put up a lesson of sorts: what if the poor kids are not aware where the human heart is? The director cleverly uses the song for some basic physiology lessons:
"dilon ki ye baaten nahin jaanta"... why the plural, though?
However, all discussion about this masterpiece remains incomplete without the two soccer references. This was 1995, and what happened in 1994? Have a look at Mamta Kulkarni's outfit above, check out the IFA shield winners here, and check this out:

And on a much larger note, who won the 1994 soccer world cup? Now check this scene:
And compare to this:
Two homages paid. In one song. Priceless. Simply priceless.


Sooraj kab door gagan se Part II (video here):
I have always loved when a song has multiple versions in a movie. Traditionally the slower version used to appear with the word SAD, inside parentheses, next to it. This, strangely, though slower than its parent version, is also the happier one in the context of the movie.

Not much to say here, other than the obvious reference to Mahabharat: in their previous lives both brothers had earrings: this time only one of them has a kundal on. Guess who?


Bhangra pa le (video here):
Yes, Raakhee, dressed in new attire, puts tilak on the foreheads of her sons.
Are they going to a war? No, guys. They're going to sing bhangra pa le. I did sit up straight in my comfortable balcony seat. This is going to be serious stuff, I thought.

No, that isn't what the pathbreaking song is all about. This stretches even further, beyond the fact that they had used the synonymous and homophonous jindri instead of zindagi (oh, the genius!).

We get back to Mahabharat again. The brothers get to share a woman (or whatever they get of her), mostly because one of them has his woman abducted. Welcome to the the ancient brothers-on-one-leg-lift-her-lehenga dance:
We also get a flashback during the song. It's not uncommon, but in this case, well, Shah Rukh is reminded of jaati hoon main during the song: I do not typically think of other songs while singing one, but then, that's what separates Bollywood superstars from us, isn't it?

And then, as things start warming up, both heroes draw swords. I'm shocked: are they going to re-enact that Zorro thing from the sooraj kab door gagan se? Then the lyrics stream in: sachchai ko kaat sake, aisi koi talwaar kahaan? Magical.
And in case you've missed it, note the East Bengal colours.

Genius. Sheer genius.

Mujhko Rana ji maaf karna (video here):
Bollywood has come a long way over the years. However, the one thing that I really miss in them are court-scenes. This song made me relive those long-lost court-scenes from the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s. If you do not believe me, just scan through the lyrics here. No objection milord, no order-order, no taaziraat-e-Hind dafa 302 ke tahat, no nothing: just dismissal of a case for adultery through a song.

Who said Bollywood lyrics was on the decline? Morons.

There is also the array of emotions Amrish Puri has displayed throughout the song. The sheer range shows his portrayal as a connoisseur of Rajasthani folk music depicting court-scenes, and in the end he starts participating, first in the gup-chup, then in an eerie lantern dance, and then in an all-out jig. Not only does the great man participate himself, but he gets the rest of the gang to join in as well.


I'm not sure which one displays ecstasy most accurately, but the emotion is unmistakable: that's how connoisseurs react at Dover Lane every year
The gup-chup dance; even Ranjeet cannot resist it
The lantern dance: look how the connoisseur and his team form a queue
Yayness!
And in case it's not evident from the last two pictures dance, the song features Feroz, the person who had played Arjun in B R Chopra's television saga (they're simply too obsessed about the epic, it seems). Here's a close-up:
The other Arjun
Epic stuff. Literally.

Jai Ma Kaali (video here):
This is one of the most informative songs ever.


For example, there are massive (humongous would be a better word) Kaali temples in Rajasthan with waterfalls inside them. Since the village doesn't seem to have electricity, it's very likely that the falls are natural. Thanks for the knowledge on geography, Mr Roshan: it's not everyday that you come across a waterfall in the rugged topography.
Then again, we get to see the brethren, clad in harem-style-dhotis, vest-like jackets with black diagonal stripes and uber-smart bandanas, complete with camouflaging war-paint on their faces. This, again, is accepted as perfectly normal attire for Shyamasangeet practitioners in Kaali temples in obscure Rajasthani villages:
As an addition to the Wikipediaesque knowledge base that the song is, Rakesh Roshan also teaches us a four-step process to win back the woman you love from her captors, however powerful:
Step 1: Walk past the girl
Step 2: She stands up
Step 3: She takes a step backwards
Step 4: Mission accomplished; now continue with the song
The dumbstruck audience doesn't really have an option but to pray, demand or grumble for a sequel to arrive. They might as well utter mere Karan Arjun phirse aayenge.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Going nuts

He's coming, guys.

He's a busy man. So he had to scrap Amritsar from his fixture. The opposition has cited different reasons, but we're ignoring that.

We'd expected him to visit Barrackpore for obvious reasons. He isn't going to do that either.

The security in Mumbai has been increased millionfolds. They aren't even allowing fire-crackers on Diwali. Well, acceptable when the President of the country hit by 9/11 visits the city of 26/11.

Now, this.

Coconuts. Up above the world so high. They gave us coconut oil. Which gave us a brand called Shalimar. Which was named after a movie. Which had this song. Which went to become an object of national pride.

Being Indians we have been taught to accept a lot of things and still go on with life. Incompetent politicians. Religious riots. Racist murders in the West. Fardeen Khan. Terrorists. Tsunamis.

But coconuts? This is a direct assault on our national prestige and ego. Jhingalala means pride for us - ask Ratan Tata, Aamir Khan and Gul Panag if you don't believe me.

I've seen real blasphemy in life (comparing test cricket and ODIs). I've also seen unreal ones (comparing test cricket and T20Is). Even surreal ones (comparing test cricket and American football). But this is something on an entirely different plane: a naariyal insult. Should we take this sitting down?

I wish I could launch a protest article like this one, but it has already been done.

All that's left for me to do is to go Hurr! Hurr! Hurrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Do join in.

***

PJ: I have always liked to put my hard-earned degrees after my name - Abhishek Mukherjee, BSc MStat. It took me over three decades to find another one who does - Barack O, BA MA.

Friday, September 24, 2010

KANK

Imran Khan is the greatest cricketer I have ever seen. Mind you, I have seen the likes of Gavaskar, Richards, Botham, Marshall, Akram, Tendulkar, Lara, Ambrose, Warne, McGrath and Muralitharan, and still there is not a flicker of doubt in my mind that none of them was ever greater than The Pathan.

Sheer numbers put him head and shoulders above the rest. 3,807 runs @ 37.69 and 362 wickets @ 22.81 from 88 tests are not numbers you dare to mess with. As a captain those numbers become 2,408 runs @ 52.34 and 187 wickets @ 20.23 in 48 tests. In the 26 tests that Pakistan has won, he had scored 900 runs @ 36 and has taken 155 wickets @ 14.50 (no, this is not a typo). In addition, he averages less than 20 with the ball against and in every country that he has bowled.

And that wasn't all, either. On field he stood well above anyone else in terms of sheer aura. It wasn't just that he was the best - he looked every bit of it; the others, some of them legends of the game, never had that imposing authority over the field the moment they set foot on it. No one matched his presence on the field; whatever he did on the ground, right from measuring his run-up to having a routine gulp of water from a bottle, he seemed the undisputed king on the ground. The only person who possibly came close to match him in flair was Viv, and even he came a second when Imran's authority on the ground was in question.

My favourite Imran memory, however, goes back to the 1987 Reliance World Cup semifinal at Lahore. Like Gavaskar, Imran too had announced that he would retire after the tournament (it's another story that their President had convinced him to break his resolution, come back and lead his country to one of the greatest test series ever, in West Indies next year; and lead his country to victories in the 1989 Nehru Cup and the jewel in the crown, the 1992 World Cup).

Imran didn't really disgrace himself as Pakistan fielded, taking 3/36 as Australia amassed 267/8 (mind you, he finished the tournament with 17 wickets from 7 matches, just one short of McDermott's tally of 18 from 8). Australia struck back, and soon Pakistan was reeling at 25/3 as Imran joined Miandad. The two added 112 runs, and despite some lusty slogging by the lower middle-order, Pakistan fell 18 runs short.

As Imran was trying to put up a valiant effort, there seemed to be some sort of female chorus going on in the gallery, packed to capacity. They were chanting something; and despite Doordarshan's lion-hearted efforts to provide us with pathetic picture and sound I realised that it was a catchy tune: at the age of ten my Chitrahaar-dependent song database wasn't good enough to recognise it. My parents knew the song, though. 23 years later I do, as well, and whenever I listen to the song, the Lahore girls come to my mind, and those freaking goosebumps just keep coming:

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What did I mean, whenever I listen to? I'm getting goosebumps even as I'm writing this! They have stopped making his kind ages back.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The song template

Bollywood songs, especially those written by individuals lesser than the inimitable Sahir or the often unfathomable Gulzar, have often followed a template throughout the song. The concept goes like this: a template is laid out in the mukhda (sthayi), and the same template is followed in the antaras.

Consider a template using the following variables:
Problem variable: X
Problem activity caused by variable: P
Solution variable: Y
Solution offered by variable y: S

Now that we have defined our variables in the template, let us define the template:
If x causes a problem P, then Y offers the solution S.
If Y causes a problem identical to P, then who offers a solution identical to S?

Now, let us assign values to the variables:
X=chingari; P=bhadakna (agan lagana, which is synonymous); Y=saawan; S=bujhana

So we get
Chingari koi bhadke, to saawan use bujhaye
Saawan jo agan lagaye, use kaun bujhaye?

Then again,
X=patjhad; P=baag ujaadna; Y=bahaar; S=khilana

We get
Patjhad jo baag ujaade, wo baag bahaar khilaye
Jo baag bahaar mein ujde, use kaun khilaye?

Now, the antaras are somewhat more descriptive. They also contain a couple of lines each that basically act as an introduction to the situation. So, in essence,each of the antaras contains two lines of set-up and two lines of template:

Antara 1:
Introduction:
Humse mat poochho kaise mandir toota sapnon ka,
Logon ki baat nahin hai, ye kissa hai apnon ka.
Template:
(X=dushman; P=thnes lagana / ghaao lagana; Y=meet/manmeet; S=jiya behlana / ghaao mitana)
Koi dushman thnes lagaye, to meet jiya behlaye
Manmeet jo ghaao lagaye, use kaun mitaye?




Antara 2:
Introduction:
Na jaane kya ho jaata, jaane hum kya kar jaate?
Peete hain to zinda hai, na peete to mar jaate.
Template:
(X=duniya; P=pyaasa rakhna/pyaas lagana; Y=madira; S=bujhana)
Duniya jo pyasa rakhe, to madira pyaas bujhaye
Madira jo pyaas lagaye, use kaun bujhaye?




Antara 3:
Introduction:
Maana toofan ke aage nahin chalta zor kisi ka,
Maujon ka dosh nahin hai, ye dosh hai aur kisi ka.
Template:
(X=majhdhaar; P=naiya dolna / naao dubona; Y=maajhi; S=paar lagana / bachana)
Majdhaar mein naiya dole, to maajhi paar lagaye,
Maajhi jo naao duboye, use kaun bachaye?
See how easy this is? Just define the template, define the variables and run it again and again.

Footnotes:
  • If a garden really doesn't blossom in spring, then it's not really worth attempting to maintain it.
  • I've never heard of anyone who consumes alcohol to quench his thirst.
  • The dehydration (often resulting in hangovers) is easily overcome if one consumes water and/or fruit juice in adequate quantities. Caffeine is not advisable.
  • Of course the wave cannot be blamed; the storm is the guilty party here.

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