Friday, January 24, 2014

The greatest comment on my blog

I wish the person had left me a way to contact him directly. Since he has not, this is the only way I can reach out to him. It is, without a doubt, the greatest comment on my blog till date. I am writing this post with the sheer ambition of immortalising this comment. The comment will live as long as my blog will.

This is the post our hero (Ayan) had commented on. For those of you who cannot read Bengali, it was a not-too-kind obituary on the recently deceased Suchitra Sen. I had mentioned that she could not act to save her life, but had excellent a business-sense that most Bengalis lack, which was the reason behind her success.

***

Ayan took me somewhat seriously, and took the pain of going through the Myself (About Me) page in my blog. This is what he had to write as a comment on the Suchitra Sen blog post (scroll down for an English translation):

Decided to use a screenshot; what if the user deletes the comment?

Translation:

Very well-written. I visited to the "Myself" page on your blog to find out who you are. I got to know that you want to become someone like Chetan Bhagat; Durjoy Datta; Amish Tripathi; Ravinder Singh etc etc. There was more, though. For examples:
1. You want to be remembered as: an epitome of narcissism.
2. Your strength: an extensive knowledge of Uruguayan theology at the turn of the 19th century.
3. Your weakness: sense of humour.
4. Your main reason to crave for global atheism: pork biriyani.
5. You want to be reborn as: Rahul Gandhi.
6. Your favourite movie: Gunda.

Your "myself" is full of contradictions! What good will "Uruguayan theology" be to the public? You claim you're an atheist, and yet you want to be reincarnated as "Rahul Gandhi". This means that Rahul Gandhi is God for you, whose father had got involved in the Bofors scandal, whose family makes a living out of squashing the entire nation. Given that you're a fan of such a man, what would you understand of Mrs Suchitra Sen? Do you understand what a rascal means? Only Indian vodka goes inside your obese system, and it's only public "donation" that you live on. You're obtaining donations from NRIs by virtue of your pseudo-intellectual activities. You're a completely filthy antisocial, bohemian biped! Now go from "Nandan" to the zoo! Do you even know what "Narcissism" means? "Narcissism" is "An exceptional interest in and admiration for yourself" -- in other words, who doesn't understand a thing beyond himself. I'm wondering how can a believer of "narcissism" discuss a public figure. There has to be some personal profit of yours involved in this! 

There is an empty cage, "just for you". The donations will now straight go to the Government.

54 comments:

  1. Is this below the belt humor?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is simply the greatest ever comment on my blog.

      Delete
  2. I don't know what is so great about this comment, Abhishek da...-_-
    If it's sarcasm, I get it.
    But if you really believe this to be the greatest comment on your blog, I am going to personally hunt down the guy who posted it and strangle him. >.<

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    Replies
    1. This is indeed a priceless comment, Aniesha. Have you ever come across a person with a sense of humour of this order?

      Delete
    2. I have! I have! The Vadakayil guy! His comments on your blog would be 'blog-name-change-worthy' and 'moochhe mundwa-ing worthy'. :P

      Delete
  3. Knowing that your weakness is "sense of humour", both the people who possess that gift, and people who lack, will try to oblige you in some way or the other. I am seriously doubtful Ayan kon category te pore, tor Myself er basis a ja cocktail baniyechhe....tao subidhamoto half bujhe (hoyto ichchha korei).
    Yes, eta satty hebby comment. er tulyo arektai lekha beriyechhe ei-jabot..."marbo ekhane..." ; khuje ber korle janas...

    ReplyDelete
  4. nevertheless, he really went through "MYSELF" minutely!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, he may be hate me, but he has done his research thoroughly.

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  5. আমিও অয়ন এবং আমিও তোমার লেখা পড়ে কমেন্ট করার জন্য উসখূশ করছিলাম তবে আমি ইনি নই ।। কারন ইনি সময় নিয়ে অনেক ভেবে , দেশ , সমাজ, ইতিহাস সব মিলিয়ে লিখেছেন ( সত্যি বলতে বেশির ভাগটাই বুঝিনি) , তবে (তোমার লেখা থেকে অ্নুপ্রাণিত ?) এক্ টা লেখা পরলাম বিশিষ্ট সাংবাদিকের , তাকে এরা কি বলবেন ? লিঙ্কটা দিলাম ... http://www.epaper.eisamay.com/Details.aspx?id=9053&boxid=94345921
    পড়ে দেখো

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. আরে, 'এই সময়'এ লিখেছেন ভদ্রলোক - তাঁর সঙ্গে আমার তুলনা? :O

      Delete
  6. "Besh likhecho" perhaps translates to "well written" and not "very well written". (Despite your narcissist soul crying out loud that it's a "very well written" piece, the truth is that it would require a stretch of imagination to even justify calling it "well written").
    Please check the "translations" carefully before posting. If possible, from next time on, let an educated person check your writing to avoid such faux pas.

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    Replies
    1. If a person is sufficiently educated, why would he check my writing? He would check Murakami's writing instead.

      Delete
  7. I am sort of a silent and dedicated follower of your blog. I came across few other extraordinary comments on your posts previously also, particularly on write ups concerning great Indian epics. But truely this one is outstanding! You have such a diverse audience, must be feeling great ;-)

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  8. Sorry Abhishek da. Ami age kokhono comment post korini. May be I commented twice. The frist one was not visible, so I rewrote. I am sort of technically challenged. Please ignore one. Just realised comments are visible only if you approve. This is a personal message. Not a comment. I love your posts. I am also from Patha Bhavan and was introduced to your blog by Ritanjan. Tomar pist er jonyo ami wait kore thaki. Likhe jao :-)

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    Replies
    1. Are, it's okay. All I had to do was to reject your other comments - not a big deal.

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  9. And how does one keep such twits in place?
    By deactivating the anonymous option.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I loved that comment!

      Two things to be added here:
      - One can easily sign up as, say, rahul4babez@gmail.com just for comment, and
      - Why are you posting anonymously?

      Delete
  10. I don't really want to qualify that twaddle by commenting on it. But I do submit, Abhishek, that of all possible insults that could have been hurled at you, the most crushingly devastating - one that will remain with you for a long time - was "... Dekhlam tumi hote chao Chetan Bhagat; Durjoy Datta; Amish Tripathi; Ravinder Singh etc etc."

    My commiserations.

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  11. orebbbaba...agey amaar dharona chhilo bekaar comment jara koren tara prodhanoto Rediff-er comment board-e koren. Ekhon dekhchhi tara shorbotro birajomaan.
    Roshbodh heenotar bodhkori kono oshudh nei...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. আরে, ওঁরা সর্বত্র আছেন।

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  12. Roshbodh heenotaar kono oshudh nei bodhoy, tai na?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. নাঃ, অন্ততঃ আমার জ্ঞানতঃ নেই।

      Delete
  13. One person took your "about me" section seriously. I wonder how many comments will be needed before
    someone to think your piece on Suchitra Sen was in jest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha....you spoke ill of the dead :D
      Nobody believes you.

      Delete
    2. That seems to be the case, doesn't it?

      Delete
  14. That's the prob with humorous people.
    You do not know when they are serious :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. At least in this age of rampant language abuse, you have to give it to this person for doing divine justice to an otherwise oft-abused word "literal"..

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oma! Purush stalker! Sob khuntiye pore bishleshon kore, apnar blog e sobcheye 'special' comment ta diye opekkhaye achhe uttorer. Nijer cali dekhe nijei ghabre jaben na jyano Abhishek babu aar hyan, propose korle nischoi janaben! Ar kichhu na hok, hingshe korbo ontoto...
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. তবেই ভাবুন, ফেনোমেনলদেবী! আর হিংসেয় জ্বলেপুড়ে খাক্‌ হবেন আপনি, নিশ্চিত থাকুন।

      Delete
  17. But if someone can take the 'about me' section seriously enough to comment on Uruguayan theology, there should exist people
    who will think that the post on Suchitra Sen was in jest. How long you have to sample the comments (ie get a sufficient number of comments) to find both examples of rare events is what I was wondering about.

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  18. লিটেরালি কোনোকিছু নেওয়া কাকে বলে, সেটা এতদিন শুনেই এসেছি, আজ বুঝলাম! আমাকে এরকম একটা সুযোগ দেওয়ার জন্য ভদ্রলোকটিকে ধন্যবাদ জানাই :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Kicchui bujhlum na Ayan Babu ki bolte chaichhen.
    Rege giye onek-ke totla hoye jete dekhechhi
    Eta bodhoy tar-i written version. Bhishon rege gechhen bhodrolok... tai ki likhechhen tar kono mathamundu nei.
    Apnakeo boli moshai... bhimrul-er chak-e dhil mara ki ekantoi dorkaar chhilo?
    Apnar naam-e dojon khanek mamla je hoyni ei koy din-e setai jotheshto.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. মামলা চলছে না, আপনি নিশ্চিত?

      Delete
  20. apni NRI der theke donation pan!!!! sekono blog likhle ii deoa hochhe ki??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. আরে, আমি কি সাধারণ মানুষ নাকি?

      Delete
  21. Jodi Ayan aabar ekhaane comment kore, then it will become Commentception ! :o

    JK, awesome korechho. I enjoy reading your blog. Baaki ekta-duto erokom troll toh shob jayegaye paawa jaaye! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. অয়নবাবু মনে হয় না আর এদিকের ছায়া মাড়াবেন।

      Delete
    2. ছদ্মবেশে নেই তো ? :)

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    3. আপনি ধরা পড়ে গেছেন, অয়নবাবু, যতই আয়ায়োন সেজে থাকুন!

      Delete
    4. নামদোষে দুষ্ট বলছেন ? কি আর বলব আত্ম সমর্থনে ? এর পরে দেখছি আপনার ব্লগে মন্তব্য করতে গেলে সিউডো নাম নিতে হবে অথবা করা থেকে বিরত থাকতে হবে । তবে অয়ন নামটা খুব একটা দুর্লভ নয়। এই আর কি।। ধ্নন্যবাদ এবং নমস্কার।

      Delete
    5. অয়ন দুর্লভ নয়, কিন্তু আয়ায়োন অত্যন্ত দুর্লভ। আর আপনার সেন্স অফ হিউমরের কী হল?

      আর 'ধ্নন্যবাদ' উচ্চারণই বা কীভাবে করে? :O

      Delete
  22. Abhishek, blog post er jonno tomar 'bio' ta porte holo. Besh nijeke marketing kora, tomar kach theke shikhte hoy. ami besh mukkhu-shukka manush, tabe rabindranather er rabibar e ekta dialog chilo 'kichu r i beshi hole jinis er daam kome jay' (hoy shabdo gulo are bhalo kore rabi Thakur bolechilo). Modda kotha hochce, ekta comment er opor e post kora ta ektu beshi hoye gelo na, naki tumi nijei comment kore oitar post banale. Jemon Agatha Christie nijer lifer e last e, nijei nijeke Kidnapped hoye jawar galpo ta ratiyechilen. On the lighter note, I can understand the pork-biryani, but Uruguayan theology!!! Sabai jemon Kolkata te Chandril ke niye matamati kore, blog world e tomar craziness sei matra chuyeche. Ar bola I bahulla je antlamo te tomra dujan kachakachi. Or better said 'Pseudo-Antlamo'. But I do like your posts, so better compensate for this stupid post with a nice one.

    ReplyDelete
  23. -_-
    Kichhu bolar nei. koek joner aphuronto somoy hathe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. একদম খাঁটি কথা বলেছেন নেক্সিন্ড!

      Delete

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