Why Uncle Vernon was always in a foul mood

This is something that has always haunted me. Petunia had a reason to envy her sister. Dudley was mollycoddled till he saw reason. Aunt Marge was a bully by nature. But Vernon?

Vernon was successful in life who did not believe in magic. There is nothing wrong with that. He loved his wife and son, and for whatever wrong he did to Harry, he actually gave him shelter. The only time he wanted him out of the house was, well, when Dudley accused Harry of assault.

All that does not sound too abnormal.

He even kept up with Dudley’s tantrums, and deserves credit for that.

He was successful in his career. The word ‘success’ was drilled into his mind for good.

He had a happy home, and had sort of accepted Harry as an unacceptable yet inevitable part of it.

He disliked loud clothes, but then, a lot of people do that.

In short, Vernon was happy with his life.

He had no business remaining annoyed. Why, then, was he in a perpetually sour mood?

I had given this some serious thought. Then, as the trailer of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them came out, I thought about the series again — till it dawned on me.

And hit me hard.

See what I meant? No? Read that last line again:

He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he thought he’d stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery.

Still don’t get it?

A BUN, MORONS, A BUN.

A BUN.

THIS IS WHAT A BUN LOOKS LIKE. GET IT? BYE FOR NOW.